I Don’t Mean To Interrupt People…I Just Randomly Remember Things And Get Really Excited!

A=Attentive D=Determined H=Hopeful D=Delightful (most of the time;)

 Just a few weeks shy of my 49th birthday this past December, (the 9th, just in case you want to send me a card next year;) I had my first-ever session with a psychiatrist.

DIAGNOSIS: ADHD with intermittent depression and anxiety...

Now, I have seen a handful of counsellors over the years, but never a “Head Doc”… For fuck sake, man, I should’ve gone years ago! Don’t get me wrong, I have made it this far by relying on my street smarts and determination, and mostly, I think I have done ok. But to have a “proper” diagnosis after all these years, made me sigh with relief.   

Sooo many things make sense now that I look back on the more “difficult” times in my life.  

 Like the time I hid my math book in my pillow case for about a month in grade 5. It could’ve been just a week, but at the time it felt like a lifetime! For f*ck sake, math teachers...cut to the chase, would ya! I’m sure there’s more than one way to learn long division…And just so you know, the long version of long division, sucks ass! Ain’t nobody got time for that;). 

I guess I have always felt a little different than the rest...And mostly, especially in my latter years, it hasn’t bothered me. But there have been times and there are still times, that it really f*cking hurts to not feel like you are a part of life… 

  I liken it to a snow globe- You know when you shake a snow globe and the snow falls and people are in this lovely little village, strolling around? Ya, there have been a few too many times that I haven’t felt like I am in the village-I’m the one up above, holding the globe and looking through the thick glass at everyone….It’s interesting how we perceive life to be sometimes, eh?!?

Unfortunately, I have also been told throughout my life that I’m a little “Too much”! Or “Don’t be you!”…That and maybe I should “dial it down a bit”... Kind of shitty, eh?!? I seriously wonder what “Too much” actually is?  

*Too much excitement?  

*Too much passion?  

*Too much enthusiasm?  

*Too much love?  

*Too much fun?

*Too much, what? (Sigh)  

I might be “Too much”, for some… But hey, maybe those people aren’t enough for me! 

So, here I am...49 and feeling mostly fine and talking the real talk about the greatness and the struggles that non-linear people-or hyperlink thinking people, (I’ve been reading quite a bit) like myself, have in day-to-day life.

 I may see the world a little differently than the average Josephine or Joe, but I celebrate that now:)

To all the people out there that are similar but different than me..I hear you! I see you! And most importantly, I really feel you♥️

XX

Danielle

P.S. My apologies to those I ran into while I was out and about at the beginning of December...Trying to find the right dosage with ADHD medication is a bit of a crap shoot...I didn’t realize my body and mind had a 7th gear;). The basics